So its been a few months since I last posted, its hard I often think of posting but I don't know what to say, there are things going on in my head that I just don't feel I can . share.
Its been 9 months since my waters broke, just over 8 months since LIly died and in a way my brain is still protecting me cause most days I just can't wrap my head around the fact we had a baby who died. It doesn't make sense to me, not at all. I try not to worry about it and just let it lie where it is.
So a few weeks ago it was Mothers Day, up until a few days before it didn't really bother me and I hadn't thought about it but it all of a sudden hit me. It was a horrid day, my first mummys day yet not cause Lily is not here so I felt like a fraud for being upset. Yet another one of horrible firsts I hate having to go through.
So only a short post today, just to say still here, still going, still trying to find my way, but always thinking of Lily Pop.
